Take a Hike Magic Mike (Spoilers Kinda!)

22 Jul

As I’ve been mainly engrossed in this month’s JulNoWriMo challenge and trying to get my word count on par–I haven’t had much time for updating this blog and for that I’m rather sorry. What’s worse is that I’m behind on my word count, and instead of bulking that up I feel burnt out on it–and decided to write for all my loyal fans again! -fanfare-

As my boyfriend is away for a Wedding in Georgia, and I’ve been left to my own devices, I found myself this past Friday night itching for plans. And plans came in the form of a girls night out. And girl night out came…with strippers.

No, now don’t get all hot and bothered on me now. I’m of course refeering to the new movie featuing Channing Tatum and Matt McConaughey, playing  male strippers from Tampa in Magic Mike.

Now, frankly, this is not a movie I would normally go out of my way for. I am proud to admit that I am not one of those girls who constantly fantasize about intangible almost fictional human beings called, “Celebrities”, and am not so proud to admit that even shopping in Victorias Secret sometimes gets me flustered. This movie, was not made for girls like me. This movie WAS made for girls like some of my best friends who were eager to lay their eyes on the half-naked Tatum, especially when there was tell of being able to see his back side on the bear side.

For all of you flesh hungry ladies (or gentleman–I don’t judge) this film did not disappoint. Within the first five minutes of the movie, Tatum’s bottom takes center stage. As do a pair of female breasts. That’s right ladies and gentleman–this is practically porn! Although not the most nudity, or sexuality I’ve seen in a film to date, it does really push the line between what’s okay and what’s uncomfortable. Frankly, I know I will never be tempted to head to a male strip club any time in the near future just based on what happened to the ladies who dared to set foot in the club called Xquisite in Magic Mike. I have never liked the idea of being dry humped in the eye–but if that’s your thing by all means be my guest.

The story line is sort of flaky at best–a male stripper (Tatum) has a dream of leaving his nude-lifestyle behind and making custom furniture. (Already sounds like the plot to a bad porn right?) But due to his mainly cash not credit income source, his credit doesn’t look good to the banks and he can’t seem to get any loans to get his business off the ground. Meanwhile, he meets a character he called, “The kid” who is a 19 year old former football scholarship kid who lost it all in a fist fight who is looking for work. Ta-da! Magic mike to the rescue, takes “The kid” to strip in his club. From there, drugs, sex and the expected maddness ensues. Meanwhile, “The kid”‘s big sister asks Mike to look after her little brother, which he of course fails to do (duh) but which somehow leads to a romantic relationship between the sister and Mike. (Spoilers kinda!)

All and all–I liked the dance scenes in this film. But only the ones where they did not end with half-naked men on the screen. I would not ever see this film again, as it was probably more traumatic for me than seeking out sexy panties at Victoria’s secrets and having one of the sales girls ask if you were finding everything okay.

Ladies–if you’re looking for bad porn you can get it for free on the web. If you want some glitter and celebrities in your porn, go see Magic Mike.

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